


Black Cat: House of Humility

by d0d0bird



Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [18]
Category: Black Cat (Comics), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Academy Fic, Angst, Break Up, Bullying, Depression, Embarrassment, Evil Felicia Hardy, Exposed Underwear, F/F, Gen, Heartbreak, Humiliation, Messy, Partial Female Nudity, Partial Nudity, Partner Betrayal, Public Humiliation, Reference to Pornography, References to Depression, Rejection, Ridicule, Shame, Situational Humiliation, Social Humiliation, Suspension, Swirlies, Teasing, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, and they were ROOMMATES, oh my god they were roommates, swirly, wedgie, wedgies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22339018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: She humiliated Spider-Man and crushed his self-esteem. She robbed Bruce Banner of his job and the woman he loved. She betrayed Silver Sable to She-Hulk to save her own skin.Now Felicia Hardy is finally going to get what’s coming to her.Felicia finds herself trapped in a world where she is an ostracized nerd tormented by bullies. Shadows of her past wrongdoings haunt her as she tries to make sense of where she is and how she got there.
Relationships: Felicia Hardy & Silver Sablinova, Peter Parker/Felicia Hardy
Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507763
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Black Cat: House of Humility

Felicia walked confidently down the hallway of the Triskelion. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents walked past her as she went, paying her no mind. She had already subdued an agent and taken her uniform, allowing her to pass as an agent herself. The facility was enormous, meaning that no one questioned seeing an agent they didn’t recognize.

Felicia had recently learned that the client she and Silver had been working for* was none other than Advanced Ideas Mechanics, a fanatical organization of scientists who built and used their inventions for terrorism. Several days later Felicia read about the Phalanx incident.** A.I.M.’s involvement in their arrival was reported in the story.

*As seen in [Black Cat: The Next Mark](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20970062)

**Read about it yourself in [Avengers: Part of the Team](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190941)

Felicia had drawn an important conclusion from all of this: A.I.M. would be willing to pay out the ass for Phalanx tech. She was certain at least some of it was being kept here in the Triskelion, since it was S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters and the current housing for the Avengers.

Felicia had done some investigation and learned that sensitive materials reserved for study were stored on the 61st floor. Unfortunately, special access was needed for that floor and the agent she had stolen this uniform from didn’t have it. She had been eyeing the belts and lapels of every agent she saw for a card that looked like it might have access.

She couldn’t tell. This was frustrating. She was so close. She was in the very building of the target. All she needed to do was figure out which I.D. card would have clearance to get her where she wanted. Maybe if she chatted up one of the other agents…

Then she saw what she needed to see. A tall, confident, muscular man walking with complete authority. Every agent he passed either acknowledged him or even saluted. If anyone had complete access, it was him. Felicia adjusted her path so she was walking directly behind him. She looked his body over for any hint of an I.D. card. She didn’t find anything.

Soon they were approaching an elevator. Felicia had to make a move now if she wanted to go through with it. After a moment of hesitation, she followed the man into the elevator and watched him scan a card from his pocket and turn to her.

“What floor?” he asked with a pleasant smile.

“61st,” said Felicia.

He nodded and pressed the button, pressing the button for his own floor right afterward.

“You know, back in my day,” he said as the elevator ascended, “You couldn’t build anything 61 stories tall in Washington. I guess times have changed, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Felicia.

The man gave her a curious look.

“Pardon me, ma’am,” he said, “but are you new here?”

“Yes,” said Felicia, offering her hand, “My name is Cathrine Black. Call me Cat.”

“Nice to meet you, Cat,” smiled the man, “I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Oh my God.”

“I’m still getting used to that response,” chuckled Steve, “Don’t worry about it. Just think of me like any other agent.”

The elevator dinged as they arrived at Steve’s floor.

“Nice meeting you, Cat!” he waved as he got off the elevator.

Felicia stared in disbelief as the doors closed. That was really him. That was Captain America. Felicia shook her head. She had to focus. She had what she needed to get to the target, now she just needed to acquire it and escape.

Felicia got off on her floor and began walking down the hall. This was some sort of science department. Every room was either an office or a lab. Felicia walked past room after room until she happened upon an empty lab with some sort of mechanical devices on the tables. She walked in and looked closer. They were entirely unfamiliar to her. That was good; it meant it was probably alien.

The belt on her uniform came with several small pouches. Felicia took the smallest bits of tech she could off each table until she had filled the pouches. It wasn’t much, but if it was really Phalanx technology, A.I.M. would still pay her enough to retire comfortably.

Escaping the Triskelion was surprisingly easy. While the facility was extremely careful about who they let in, they were pretty indiscriminate about who they let out. She made it out safely and was back in her hotel room by sundown. She gleefully reached out to her contact at A.I.M., set up a drop point and time, hung up, and let out a groan of relief.

Felicia was ready to relax. She stripped off the S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform she had worn all day, letting it fall to the ground as she stepped out of the boots. Next she removed her lingerie. Whenever there was even the smallest chance she’d get laid, she wore her fancy black underwear. She knew she looked hot in it and even when she didn’t end up sleeping with anyone it made her feel good.

Now naked, Felicia walked into the bathroom and started the hot water. Then she returned to the fridge where she had stored a bottle of her favorite wine and chocolates. Today was a big victory. She deserved to celebrate. She spent the remainder of the evening lounging in a hot bubble bath while enjoying sips of wine and bites of chocolate.

When she was done drying off she made her way to bed and slipped under the covers. Soon she’d make the handoff and have all the money she’d ever need. Life was good.

***

“Hardy!”

“Nnnngh…” grumbled Felicia, still mostly asleep.

“Hardy!” shouted Silver, “Get up!”

Felicia snapped up in bed and turned to the voice in a panic. It was Silver. Felicia reached for the bedside table to grab her taser. Nothing was there. Felicia turned to the table in a panic, not recognizing it at all. Looking around, she realized that she didn’t recognize the room either.

She was in a tiny bedroom of some sort, not the hotel room she had fallen asleep in. There was a bunk bed and two desks, making the small space extremely cramped. Felicia was on the bottom bed of a bunk. Silver was standing beside her, looking impatient, but not irate. Given their last encounter where Felicia had betrayed Silver and left her to die,* Felicia was certain Silver would want to kill her.

*Back in [She-Hulk: She’s Coming for You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073607)

“What’s wrong?” demanded Silver, “Did you forget to set your alarm or something?”

“My alarm?”

“For class!” said Silver, “Hurry up, you still have to get dressed!”

_Class?_

So this was a boarding room? What was going on? Felicia looked down at herself. Though she was sure she had gone to bed naked, she was currently wearing a full set of pink plaid pajamas. Felica nearly gagged at the sight of them. They were hideous. She noticed something else strange: her vision was blurrier than usual.

“I have to go,” sighed Silver, “I’ll see you there. Try not to be too late, okay?”

Silver left before Felicia could ask her anything else. She slowly got out of bed and worked her way to the mirror between their dressers. She squinted and tried to see her reflection. It was still too blurry. Then she noticed an ugly set of large black glasses on one of the desks.

 _No…_ she thought.

Felicia cautiously picked the glasses on and put them on. Sure enough, she could see clearly again. Felicia had never needed glasses before. Her vision was perfect; it always had been! Felicia could now see herself in the mirror and didn’t like what she was seeing. Her once perfectly trimmed undercut had been replaced by a mess of black hair that sat on her head like a mop. Her face was pale and plagued with half a dozen pimples. Felicia bared her teeth and audibly gasped when she saw the silver braces she had on. What had happened to her? Where was she?

Felicia decided to get dressed and investigate the matter. She pulled her pajamas off and sighed. She was wearing the least flattering underwear she had ever seen in her life. The briefs were baggy enough to sail a small ship and the bra practically hid her boobs rather than held them. She pulled these off as well and proceeded to the nearest dresser.

She scowled. No cute underwear. None at all. All she could find were granny panties, ugly bras, and argyle socks. She hated this, but didn’t know what else to do. She pulled on a pair of purple polka dot briefs and a matching bra before walking over to the closet and opening it to pick out her wardrobe.

“You’ve got to be getting me…” she muttered.

Inside the closet were several hangers each holding an identical outfit: a yellow collared shirt, plaid brown slacks, and red suspenders. She considered going out naked for a moment. No, that would be more trouble than it was worth. Against all odds, wearing this outfit was the less humiliating option.

So she put on the shirt and hiked up the pants, realizing to her displeasure that they sat extremely high on her waist. The high waisted pants exposed her ugly grey argyle socks, though they were arguably the least offensive part of the ensemble. She completed the look by throwing on her penny loafers. She looked at herself in the mirror one more time.

“Oh no,” she moaned at the sight.

She looked like an absolutely insufferable nerd. She hated it. It was everything she hated. She worked so hard her entire life to avoid being this kind of person. What the hell had happened to her?

 _Right,_ she remembered, _I’ll be late for class!_

She grabbed her oversized backpack, put it on, and ran out the door. Somehow she knew exactly where to go on campus to find it. She entered the building, found her classroom, and took her seat next to Silver. 

She had expected the class to be long and boring, but to her surprise she found herself enthralled. She was furiously taking notes and knew the answer to every question to professor asked, raising her hand immediately and proudly telling the class the solution. She felt amazing; the same way she felt when she pulled of a perfect heist.

Then she felt a flick in the back of her head. She turned around and saw Jessica Jones sitting several desks behind her. Felicia’s face went cold. What was that bitch doing here? She had run half a country away just to get away from her and now they had class together!?* Jessica flicked another folded piece of paper at Felicia. Because she had turned around, this one hit her in the face.

*Due to the events of [Jessica Jones & Spider-Man: Crossed Your Path](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910803)

“Hey!” shouted Felicia indignantly.

“Ms. Hardy!” said the professor loudly, “Please pay attention!”

“Yes, Professor Odinson.”

Professor Odinson was a tall and slender man with dark hair and serious eyes. He wore a sharp black pair of slacks, an emerald button down, and a black necktie. Felicia didn’t recognize him and she wasn’t sure how she even knew his name. That was strange. She recognized Silver and Jessica. Who was this? What did he have to do with all of this?

Felicia didn’t have much more time to ponder before she felt a wet impact on the back of her ear. She grabbed at it and looked at her hand. There was a wadded up wet ball of paper there. She turned around again to see Jessica chuckling with a straw in hand. Felicia grabbed at the back of her own hair and felt countless more bits of spit-soaked paper were embedded there. It was revolting.

Felicia glared back at Jessica, but immediately regretted it. Sitting at the desk beside Jessica was an enormous, muscular, green woman in white and purple clothes. She was also chuckling. She offered her fist and Jessica bumped it with her own.

 _She-Hulk too!?_ thought Felicia, _What the hell is going on?_

Felicia was carefully looking at the two women, both grinning uncontrollably, trying to get a read on what was going on here. Then she watched in confusion as She-Hulk brought both hands up to her mouth and blew into them, making a loud farting sound.

“Ms. Hardy!” cried Professor Odinson angrily, “Now? In class? Really?”

Students were starting to laugh.

“It wasn’t me!” insisted Felicia, suddenly surrounded by sneering peers.

“Uh-huh,” sighed Professor Odinson sarcastically, “If this is going to be a recurring problem, would you kindly adjust your diet accordingly?”

Felicia sank back into her chair as the laughter continued, growing louder even. Had she the ability to melt completely into the chair and disappear, she would have. Instead she was condemned to wait out the rest of class with everyone snickering at her.

***

“Silver,” whispered Felicia, scurrying up to her roommate’s side as she sorted through her locker, “What’s going on here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where are we? How did we get here?”

“Are you alright, Hardy?” asked Silver in concern, closing her locker.

Was this a dream? If so, it was eerily vivid. Felicia had never had dreams like that before. 

“No,” sighed Felicia, “I don’t think I am.”

“Don’t worry about Jessica and She-Hulk,” dismissed Silver, “Those two are jerks.”

“That’s one word for it,” muttered Felicia.

“Hi! You’re Felicia, right?”

Felicia turned around. There were two scrawny boys standing before her. One was slightly spindlier with a mess of brown hair while the other had a slight hunch and wore glasses. It took Felicia a moment, but she vaguely recognized them as Spider-Man without his mask and Bruce Banner.

“Uh…” considered Felicia, “yes.”

“You did a swell job in class!” said Bruce enthusiastically, offering a handshake.

He waited. Felicia obliged.

“This is my friend, Spider,” he introduced.

Felicia shook Spider’s hand as well and smiled at him. So they didn’t remember her. Hell, she barely remembered _them_. This was getting stranger and stranger.

“Nice to meet you,” smiled Spider.

That was strange. Felicia liked the look of his smile. She hadn’t felt that way at all about him at all before. In fact, she had thought very little of him. Why was she feeling endeared to him now? What had changed? Why in the world were they going to college together?

“Sorry about my cousin,” apologized Bruce, “She can be… Insensitive.”

“Yeah,” added Spider, “She and Jessica are real bullies.”

“Oh really?” scoffed a deep feminine voice, “We’re bullies, are we?”

Silver, Felicia, Bruce, and Spider all turned to face the two towering women. They stood confidently with their arms crossed, leaning against the lockers across the hall. Felicia instinctively stepped back and pressed her back against the lockers in fear.

“Haha!” chortled Jessica, “Looks like we spooked the Scaredy Cat!”

Suddenly Felicia felt incredibly insecure. Like everyone thought little of her.

“That’s a mean nickname and you know it!” said Spider.

“Yeah?” chuckled She-Hulk, stepping up to Spider and staring him down as she towered over him, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Hey!” protested Felicia, “Leave him alone!”

She wasn’t sure why she had done that. She wasn’t usually the type to stick her neck out for others, let alone dweebs like Spider. Something about the way he had smiled at her earlier compelled Felicia though. This was unfortunate, since it had visibly pissed She-Hulk off.

“Would you look at that?” said Jessica, walking up to Felicia, “The Cat really DOES have claws!”

“You’re right,” grunted She-Hulk, “Maybe we should declaw her…”

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” smiled Jessica.

“Yup!” grinned She-Hulk, “Swirly time!”

“No!” begged Felicia, “Please!”

She-Hulk grabbed onto the oversized backpack and lifted Felicia straight off the ground, leaving her feet kicking as She-Hulk marched down the hall with her. Felicia flailed more and more, but couldn’t escape She-Hulk’s grasp. Everyone in the hallway laughed as Jessica and She-Hulk brought Felicia into the bathroom with them.

Felicia had given a few swirlies in her life, but never received one. For some reason though, the fear seemed oddly familiar to her. Like She-Hulk and Jessica had done this to her countless times already. She had hated it every time. This time was no different. She pled for mercy between splashes as the two women took turns dangling Felicia headfirst over the toilet bowl and dunking her deep into the toilet for seconds at a time. It was brutal.

After several minutes of this they tossed Felicia onto the ground and high-fived. Felicia was shaking with fear and anticipation, but managed to slowly get to her feet. Her whole head was dripping with water, thin strips of toilet paper tangled in her hair. Even her shirt was soaked from all of the splashing. She had never been so humiliated. That is, until half a second later.

Felicia squealed as she felt her underwear shoot up into her butt and lift her clear off the ground, cutting deep into her as her face contorted in pain. She-Hulk was dangling Felicia in the air by the purple panties, making a point to jerk them around and wedge them up further.

“That’s what I call a wedgie!” cackled Jessica, doubling over laughing.

“Hey!” cried out Felicia as She-Hulk hooked her waistband to the bathroom stall hook, “What are you doing!? You’re not going to leave me here!?”

“Later, nerd!” yelled She-Hulk back as they both walked out.

“But how am I going to get down!?” she cried after them, but there was no response.

Felicia was left alone in the bathroom, soaked in toilet water and hanging by her underpants. She had tried to unhook herself, but she wasn’t flexible enough to reach all the way behind her and her loafers didn’t have enough traction to be of any help. After several minutes of struggling she sighed in defeat. The underwear only pulled into her further. Her legs were starting to go numb.

**Riiiiip…**

“Oh goodie,” muttered Felicia.

**RIP!!!**

The underwear tore in half, leaving the back hanging off the hook and several inches of purple polka dotted fabric sticking out of her slacks. She fell face first onto the dirty bathroom floor, sending her glasses sprawling across the room. She moaned in pain as she lay there.

She emerged from the bathroom sometime later and slowly made her way home. It was late at night by the time she returned and Silver was already asleep. She went to the floor’s bathroom and showered herself off, taking a moment to look at herself in the mirror before going to bed.

It would get better one day, she knew it. It had to.

***

Felicia woke up to the sound of her alarm and hurried out of bed. She quickly changed out of her pajamas and into one of her signature outfits. She looked at herself proudly in the mirror as she snapped on the suspenders. Today was a new day. All she had to do was keep a positive attitude and eventually things would work out!

She made her way to class again and ignored She-Hulk and Jessica’s heckling as Professor Odinson gave his lecture and Felicia excitedly engaged in the class discussion. After class, she was getting ready to return to her room when Spider grabbed her attention.

“Hey, Felicia!” he said, “Don’t forget, we have gym class today.”

_Oh, drat!_

Felicia hated gym class. She always came in dead last no matter what the competition was. She was embarrassingly uncoordinated and woefully out of shape. All gym class served to do was put that on display for everyone to see. It made her feel awful about herself.

She and Spider walked to the next building over and split off to enter their respective locker rooms. Felicia anxiously looked around as she rushed to her locker to change. The locker room was She-Hulk and Jessica’s favorite hunting ground. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up with itching powder in her bra again. Or worse.

She opened her locker and neatly placed her gym clothes on the bench. She then began to take her clothes off and neatly fold them before gently placing them in the locker. She was down to just her socks, bra, and panties when she heard laughter.

“Nice undies, Felicia!” shouted someone.

Felicia looked down and remembered she was wearing her special comfy undies. They were stretchy, soft, high-waisted briefs with a waistband that gently hugged her waist without pinching it. They were white with purple accents and a pattern of cat head-shaped purple emblems across it. Felicia had totally forgot she was wearing them. She was mortified.

“Oh my God!” laughed Jessica, who was among the crowd, “Look, her socks even match! What a dork!”

Felicia looked down. Sure enough, her white knee socks had the same design on them. She could have sworn she was wearing argyle socks before that moment. Felicia hurriedly pulled on her gym shorts, T-shirt, and ratty old gym shoes; although it did little to assuage the laughter. Felicia sprinted out of the locker room the moment she got the chance.

Not that rushing into gym class did much for her self-esteem. Coach Glenn Talbot taught the gym class and didn’t have any patience for the physically unfit. Felicia constantly found herself being berated for her athletic failures. Of course, that same teacher turned a blind eye when the other students were picking on Felicia.

Today was fitness day. Multiple fitness tests were set up throughout the gym for students to approach and use. Among them were hurdles, vaults, climbing bars, and a long rope that students were to climb up as high as they could. Felicia knew she’d embarrass herself no matter what she picked, so she went to the station that was the least crowded: the long jump.

Somehow, even though the long jump was all but abandoned when Felicia walked up to it, the moment she was preparing to jump a line had formed and all eyes were on her. Spider and Silver were there too.

 _Aw man,_ thought Felicia nervously, _Why did Spider have to be here? I’m going to look like a total loser trying to do this!_

“Get on with it already!” shouted She-Hulk.

Felicia winced in fear. She-Hulk was right behind her in line now. She didn’t remember her being there earlier. She readied herself and prepared to jump. There was no hurdle or anything, just a line where the students were meant to jump and measuring tape alongside it to see how far. Felicia ran up to the line and leapt.

It was a disaster. Felicia noticed a moment too late that she was stepping on her own shoelace when she had decided to jump. The result was her tripping and pulling herself face down directly into the mat. Her face hit the ground with a thud as everyone behind her laughed. She had completely failed and everyone had seen it.

“Move it, Scaredy Cat!” barked She-Hulk.

Felicia didn’t have time to respond before she felt the gigantic hands each grab the back of the waistband of her shorts. She made a futile attempt to crawl away before those shorts were squeezed up and into her with unfathomable force. She squealed in pain as She-Hulk effortlessly lifted her by the stretched-thin shorts, pulling them further into Felicia’s butt. Her face turned red as she heard the other students laughing at the massive wedgie.

“Loser,” scoffed She-Hulk.

She-Hulk lowered Felicia to the ground, briefly easing up on the intensity of the wedgie. This lasted for only a brief moment before She-Hulk grabbed either side of the shorts and pulled the waistband up and over either of Felicia’s shoulders, trapping her arms inside.

“Come on!” whined Felicia, “Not again!”

She-Hulk only responded with a chuckle as she knotted the drawstring, leaving Felicia looking like she was being actively consumed by her own shorts. Felicia tried to force her hands out of the top to undo it, but the drawstring was tied too tight. She was stuck like that.

“Oh my God!” laughed another student, “Now that’s one epic wedgie!”

“What a loser!” laughed another.

Felicia’s face turned redder and redder as she looked down and saw that her shorts were wedged up so far that her embarrassing underwear was on display again, themselves being partially pulled into her butt as well by the tension of the firmly wedged shorts.

She-Hulk didn’t even do the jump herself. She just laughed and walked away, leaving Felicia comically waddling about trying to fix her shorts. She eventually tripped on her shoelace again, falling onto her side and kicking about. She realized she couldn’t get back up. Everyone continued to laugh as she lay there sadly.

“Hey,” whispered Silver, “Come on, roll over. Let me help you out.”

Felicia rolled over and saw her friend squatting beside her. Felicia smiled weakly as Silver undid the tight knot on the drawstring. Felicia let out a huge sigh of relief as her arms burst free from the waistband. She got to her feet and began to tug her shorts back into place.

“Thanks,” she said meekly.

“No problem,” smiled Silver, “After all, we’re best friends, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” smiled Felicia quietly.

“She’s a real jerk,” said Spider, having joined them.

Felicia blushed.

“I’m serious!” said Spider firmly, “Picking on a nice girl like you, who does she think she is!?”

“You…” muttered Felicia, “You think I’m a nice girl?”

“Of course I do!” said Spider cheerily, “Felicia, you’re one of the bravest and smartest people I’ve ever met.”

“You mean that?”

“I sure do,” nodded Spider, “In fact… Um… I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a burger or something tomorrow?”

“Like…” whispered Felicia hesitantly, “...a date?”

“If you like,” smiled Spider bashfully.

Felicia stood with her mouth hanging open. She couldn’t believe it. Spider wasn’t the most popular guy around, but he was incredibly sweet. Felicia had always thought he was kind of cute. She couldn’t believe he was interested in someone like her. Now that she was really looking him in the eye, hearing him say it…

“Oof!” cried out Felicia.

Silver had elbowed her in the ribs.

“Oh,” realized Felicia, “Yes, the answer is yes!”

“Great!” smiled Spider broadly, “See you at Lou’s tomorrow after school?”

“Yeah,” said Felicia quietly in disbelief.

“Alright,” said Spider, giddy with excitement, “Looking forward to it!”

He ran off excitedly. Felicia caught herself sighing as she watched him run off. Suddenly he seemed so handsome and charming. She couldn’t believe her luck. What were the chances a guy like that would have any interest in a dweeb like her?

“Eek!” she squealed, feeling her shorts hiked up her butt once more.

She-Hulk held Felicia up by the shorts once again, smiling proudly as she gave her a quick bounce and elicited another squeal. She-Hulk hooked the waistband to the side of the bleachers and walked off, leaving Felicia dangling in a painful wedgie. She looked around. Silver wasn’t there anymore. In fact, no one was. Within a few seconds even She-Hulk was nowhere to be found.

“Hm,” said Bruce as he approached her, “That looks uncomfortable.”

“Bruce!” cried out Felicia, “Thank goodness. Help me!”

“Hm…” considered Bruce, “No, I don’t think I will.”

“What!?” cried Felicia in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you, Cat,” he said calmly, “I don’t think I’ll help you. In fact, I think I’ll see to it that your life is ruined. I am going to take everything from you and leave you a hollowed out and humiliated husk of what you once were.”

Felicai hung there, staring in complete disbelief.

“But… why?”

“Because it’s what you deserve,” said Bruce cryptically as he walked off.

Felicia considered that. It made no sense. She had always had a pleasant relationship with Bruce, even as far back as she could remember. What could she have possibly done to make him say such hateful things to her?

_**Rip...** _

“Not again…”

_**RIIIIIP!!!** _

Felica felt her crotch grow cold as the shorts tore away completely and left her lying face first on the gym floor in only her shirt, shoes, and underwear. The impact snapped her glasses in half, leaving them broken in front of her. Suddenly laughter filled her ears. Even though the gym seemed empty moments before, now the entire class was there pointing and laughing at her again. She clenched her eyes shut in shame, grabbed her broken glasses, clambered to her feet, covered her cat print undies as best she could, and ran off.

***

“...Hardy?” asked Silver cautiously, “You in here?”

She was. Felicia had gone straight back to her dorm and buried herself under the covers to hide from the world. She was so tired of Jessica and She-Hulk picking on her. What had she ever done to them? Why did they have to be so mean?

“Hardy…” said Silver, crouching beside the bed, “You alright?”

“...no,” admitted Felicia after a moment, looking up to Silver with tear-filled eyes.

“Hey,” offered Silver supportively, “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about those bullies. They’re just jealous.”

“Jealous of what?”

Silver considered for a moment. She didn’t have an answer prepared.

“You managed to get a date with Spider,” said Silver, “That’s something to be jealous of!”

“Yeah,” smiled Felicia weakly, “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you’ve had a crush on him for as long as I can remember!” said Silver.

Felicia nodded. It was true. She had always thought Spider seemed gentle and welcoming. Deep down she had always hoped he’d ask her out. She wanted to be with him so badly. She couldn’t imagine a better first boyfriend.

“You excited for the date?”

“Of course I am,” said Felicia, “I’m just still worried about She-Hulk and Jessica is all.”

“Well don’t be,” said Silver supportively, “I’ve got your back tomorrow, you hear?”

“You mean it?”

“Of course,” smiled Silver, “We’re best friends, Hardy.”

“Yeah,” smiled Felicia back, “We are.”

***

Felicia cautiously looked around the restaurant. Lou’s was hardly a fancy place, but there was a certain charm to it. It was something like a cross between a diner and a full service restaurant. The dark red booths stood out against the mahogany tables and walls that made up the rest of the restaurant. It was a popular hangout for students. Most of the tables were taken up by people Felicia recognized.

“Cat?”

Felicai turned around to see Spider. He looked amazing. He wore a slim fitting grey suit with a bright red tie against a black shirt. Felicia had no idea he could dress himself so well. She looked down insecurely at her yellow shirt, brown pants, and suspenders.

“Spider!” she smiled back, opening her arms for a hug, “Hi!”

He hugged her back. It felt so warm and reassuring. The two went and grabbed a booth. They awkwardly smiled at each other until the waitress bearing a name tag that read “Betty” came by with the menus, handing one to each of them. Felicia caught Spider winking at her just before he started reading the menu. She couldn’t believe it; he was really into her.

“So…” began Felicia carefully, “What are you thinking about getting?”

He didn’t respond.

“Spider?”

“What?” he demanded impatiently, slamming his menu down.

“Sorry,” muttered Felicia, scared and confused, “I didn’t… Sorry…”

He began chuckling to himself.

“What is it?” asked Felicia, “What are you laughing at?”

“You!” he laughed, “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Me?” asked Felicia, meekly, “What’d I do?”

Then Felicia started to notice that Spider wasn’t the only one laughing. The students who filled the other booths were laughing too, snickering while staring at her over their menus. Felicia was so confused.

“Someone order a chocolate milkshake?”

Felicia didn’t have a chance to answer before Betty held the glass over Felicia’s head and poured out all of its contents. Felicia let out a trembling scream as the freezing goop poured down over her head and down her shirt, coating her hair and face in chocolate ice cream. Everyone was laughing much louder now.

Felicia wiped the milkshake from her eyes. Spider had a look of contempt on his face as he laughed. It was like his opinion of her was so low that he couldn’t possibly feel bad for her. Had he planned this? Everyone continued to laugh and point.

“I can’t believe you thought anyone would actually go out with you!” cackled Spider, “What about you do you think is appealing, exactly? Your looks? Your sense of style? Ha!”

Felicia was using her napkin to wipe the milkshake off of her now, but she was still shivering from the cold. The laughter was only growing louder. This was a prank? Spider had never really meant it? Why would he do that?

“She’s such an idiot!” laughed someone next to Felicia, “She totally fell for it! Hook, line, and sinker.”

Felicia turned and saw the one who said that was none other than Silver, who was now standing beside the waitress with her phone out, taking pictures of Felicia.

“Silver!” gasped Felicia, covering her face, “What are you doing!?”

“Come on!” jeered Silver, “Let’s see that face of yours, Hardy!”

Felicia got up, covered her face, pushed past Silver, and ran out of the building. She couldn’t believe it. She had never felt so low and unloved. Why had Spider done that? Why had Silver gone along with it? They were friends, she had told her herself last night! What in the world was going on?

 _Bruce!_ realized Felicia, remembering their encounter in the gym the previous day, _He said he was going to ruin me. He must have done this!_

Felicia made her way back to campus, trying to ignore the intense feeling of self-hatred she was experiencing. Her mind was still processing the degrading experience she had just endured. Something was wrong. Why was this all happening now?

When Felicia arrived at campus she was shocked to see the entire student body and faculty waiting for her. They all stood in a crowd facing her, arms crossed and faces angry. Felicia stopped in front of them in disbelief. Professor Odinson stood at the front, staring at her directly.

“Ms. Hardy,” he said plainly, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I don’t…” she muttered, “I’m not…”

“Ms. Hardy,” sighed Odinson, “We all know your romantic life has been… difficult. It would be for anyone with your… disposition. But still, that’s no excuse.”

“Excuse for what?”

“Don’t be coy!” said Odinson angrily, “We’ve seen everything you downloaded onto the library computer you were using.”

“I didn’t…”

“It was your username and password,” said Odinson, “Don’t try to deny it.”

Felicia looked nervously at the other faces in the crowd. They all looked disgusted by the very sight of her. The one exception was Bruce, who stood beside Odinson with a big grin on his face.

“Bruce…” she whispered, “What did you do?”

“Don’t change the subject, Ms. Hardy!” shouted Odinson, “Did you really expect 50 gigabyes of porn to go unnoticed?”

“What!?!”

The crowd started snickering, especially Bruce. So that’s what he had done.

“This is the last straw, Ms. Hardy,” said Odinson, “Your desperation and loneliness is no excuse for misuse of school property.”

“No, wait!” begged Felicia, “It wasn’t me!”

The crowd was laughing even more loudly now.

“Ms. Hardy,” said Odinson loudly, “You are hereby expelled!”

“No!” cried Felicia, “Please, it wasn’t me! Don’t expel me! PLEASE!”

The laughter got louder. Some students began to point. Others took out their phones and began to film. Felicia was crying, sobbing as she fell to her knees. Everyone was surrounding her now, laughing hysterically as more and more began filming her as she wailed for them to stop. They wouldn’t. They only crowded in more and laughed louder.

“Why!?” screamed Felicia, “Why!? I didn’t do anything!!”

“You know exactly what you did,” said Odinson.

Felicia felt a strong set of hands grab each of her arms and pull her to her feet. She looked up and widened her eyes in horror as she found herself in the grasps of Jessica and She-Hulk, both of whom were smiling deviously.

“How should we start?” asked She-Hulk, “Noogies or purple nurples?”

“I say we start with wet willies and work our way up,” said Jessica, “and finish it off by giving her the worst wedgie of her life!”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” cried out Felicia.

***

“I’ll be damned,” realized Jennifer, “That’s her. That’s Felicia Hardy.”

“Sure is,” said Loki.

“Where’d she come from?”

Jennifer Walters and Loki stood in Loki’s quarters. Since the invasion, each member of the Avengers had been given their own spacious quarters at the Triskelion with a bed and a workstation. Loki’s bed was currently occupied by Felicia Hardy, who was lying motionless on top of the covers.

“I found her snooping around the Phalanx tech,” said Loki, “I ran into her while I was disguised as Steve.”

“Steve Rogers?”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“People are much nicer to you when they think you’re Captain America.”

“You could also try being friendly.”

“Eh.”

“So what did you do to her?” asked Jennifer, “She’s out cold, but she doesn’t look injured.”

“Do you recall the trance I put on Thor when we first met?*” asked Loki.

*Back in [She-Hulk & Thor: My Sister Stole My Hammer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21527050)

“Yes. Is that what you’ve done?”

“Something similar,” explained Loki, “With Thor I carefully constructed the illusion he was trapped in. I even communicated with him while he was there.”

“After you misled Sif into trying to kill me.”

“Let’s not get bogged down with details,” dismissed Loki, “The point is: this spell is different. I don’t actually know what illusion she’s experiencing.”

“So it could be anything at all?”

“No,” said Loki, “This is a very particular spell. Whatever illusion she’s experiencing is… karmic in nature.”

“So if she’s been bad…”

“You have a vendetta against Ms. Hardy,” smiled Loki, “Do you not?”

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at Loki.

“Have you told Cap about her yet?” asked Jennifer, “Or Hill? Or anyone?”

“Only you,” said Loki, “Shall I let the others know?”

Jennifer looked at Hardy’s unconscious body for a moment, remembering what she had done to Bruce.

“No,” said Jennifer quietly, “Why don’t we let her wait a bit?”

**Author's Note:**

> "So basically, Black Cat goes to hell?"
> 
> "Basically, Black Cat goes to hell."


End file.
